Someone Who Will Love You in All Your Damaged Glory

The Serial Monogamist s Guide to Important New York City Landmarks


Towering over the east side of Fifth Avenue, between Fiftieth and Fifty-First Streets, you ll find the majestic St. Patrick s Cathedral, historically significant as the place where you and Eric sat on the steps and ate frozen yogurt that time.

Should you happen upon this neo-Gothic-style still-active Roman Catholic church, you ll be instantly transported to that ancient day, several summers prior, when the two of you were finally getting along again, for the first time in what seemed like forever. It felt like old times, this excursion into Manhattan, and you smiled as the sticky-sweet swirl of hazelnut and banana melted down your arm.

At one point, Eric looked at you and, grinning, said, Hey, you ve got a little . . . and as he reached for your face, you instinctively jerked away from his hand. You didn t mean anything by it, this flinch it just happened but in an instant, the whole day fell apart.

You and Eric looked at each other, in the shadow of that cathe­dral, and you saw Eric s face fall, as you had often seen it fall, in that just-so-Eric way.

What are we doing? Eric asked, and you shook your head and said, I don t know.

And then the two of you sat on the steps of the cathedral for a very long time without saying anything.

Later, you and Eric went back to his apartment and had sex. But it was too late. The damage had been done.


***


New York City is full of history. Take, for example, the Waverly Diner down in Greenwich Village. It was at this very spot you and Keith stayed up all night talking over pancakes, after duck­ing out of Emily s twenty-sixth birthday party.

There was so much to say to each other, you and Keith. It was right after you and Eric broke up, and Keith was so not Eric. Keith was like the opposite of everything Eric stood for.

If you had been thinking rationally at the time, you probably could ve guessed that you

Raphael Bob-Waksberg is the creator and executive producer of the Netflix series BoJack Horseman. This is his first book.

ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR: NPR  THE A.V. CLUB

Transcendent tragicomedy. . . . Prepare to be devastated and made whole again. The A.V. Club

EXTREMELY MY SH*T. Samantha Irby, author of We Are Never Meeting in Real Life

  Continues to surprise and delight. The Washington Post

Wonderfully weird. Vulture

Complex, daring, emotional, and unique. B. J. Novak, author of One More Thing

Heartrending. . . . Poignant. The Atlantic

Sidesplitting. . . . Bizarre and hilarious. Shelf Awareness (starred review)

[These stories] conjure struggles for connection in grimly surreal alternative realities that recall the probing comic imaginings of George Saunders. Los Angeles Times

  Showcases Bob-Waksberg s talent for conjuring fantastical scenarios and writing about them with a straight face. . . . Human relationships, he seems to be saying, are weirder than anything else our imaginations can come up with. NPR

I can say without hesitation that the collection surpasses my impossibly high expectations. . . . A tremendous debut. Ian Mond, Locus

These stories, while infused with elements of fantasy, made me feel and feel more connected to the human condition. Elise Hu, TED Talks Daily

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  Bob-Waksberg s fiction debut will capture many readers with its formal innovation, playful language, and relatable portraits of romance gone awry. Booklist

Sometimes-whimsical, sometimes-biting short fictions. . . . A savage sendup of love in all its